.Publisher's Details: The following is the text message of a letter from Expedition 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Resigned), reassessing the activities of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I haven't created quite regarding specifics of the purpose throughout the month I've been listed here, mainly for pair of reasons: the initial being actually that there has actually been actually extremely little bit of time to perform that kind of creating, and secondly due to the fact that I am actually not sure how comfortable I am actually sharing thought and feelings I show to friends and family with the remainder of the world.Effectively, certainly the globe transformed today. What I mention or carry out is actually quite minor contrasted to the value of what occurred to our country today when it was attacked through ... through whom? Revolutionaries is actually all we know, I guess. Hard to recognize at whom to drive our temper as well as concern ...I had actually just ended up an amount of tasks today, the absolute most lengthy being actually the physical examinations of all crew participants. In a private conversation adhering to that, the flight cosmetic surgeon informed me they were possessing a quite bad time on the ground. I had no concept ...He explained the condition to me as absolute best he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was stunned, after that horrified. My 1st thought and feelings was that this wasn't a real discussion, that I was actually still listening to some of my Tom Clancy tapes. It only really did not seem to be possible on this incrustation in our country. I could not even envision the particulars, also just before the information of additional destruction began being available in.Vladimir came quite rapidly, sensing that one thing extremely serious was being talked about. I swayed Michael in to the module too. They were likewise astounded as well as stunned. After our experts signed off, I made an effort to reveal to Vladimir as well as Michael as greatest I can the prospective magnitude of the show of horror in downtown New york as well as at the Government. They precisely comprehended and were actually quite sympathetic.I eyed the Planet Chart on the pc to find where over the world we were as well as saw that our team were actually coming southeast away from Canada as well as would be actually passing over New England in a couple of minutes. I whized around the terminal till I found a window that will offer me a view of NYC as well as grabbed the local cam. It happened to become a camera, and also I was actually appearing southern from the window of Michael's cabin.The smoke cigarettes appeared to possess a weird flower to it at the base of the column that was streaming south of the area. After going through one of the newspaper article we merely got, I believe our experts were considering NY around the moment of, or even soon after, the collapse of the 2nd high rise. How awful ...I panned the electronic camera the whole time the East Coastline to the south to observe if I could view some other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or even anywhere else, yet nothing showed up.It was actually fairly difficult to think of work after that, though we possessed some to do, but on the following orbit we moved across the United States further southern. All three people were functioning 1 or 2 video cameras to try to obtain sights of New york city or even Washington. There was fog over Washington, but no certain resource can be viewed. Everything appeared amazing coming from a couple of hundred kilometers away. I can't visualize the terrible settings on the ground.Aside from the emotional impact of our country being attacked and lots of our people and possibly some buddies being actually gotten rid of, one of the most frustrating feeling being where I am is just one of solitude.Following day ... I reckon the exhaustion and also psychological pressure acquired the best of me. I could not remain awake and also continue to compose. Today was actually still complicated, yet our company started receiving even more relevant information, plus our team had the tribute of chatting directly along with the Center Director, Roy Estess, that guaranteed us that the ground groups will remain to work as well as ensure our safety and security, as well as the safe operation of the Place. Our company also spoke with our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, who added that the companions in the Program are actually all entirely committed to continuing risk-free procedures and also help. These were never ever questions for me. I understand all these individuals! The ground crews have been unbelievably supporting, really understanding of the impact of the information, and have made an effort to be as useful as possible. They have all been quite expert as well as focused though I can not think of the distraction of this type of updates being available in as well as the notion that government structures may be in danger. They never bypassed a beat, also when moving control centers. And a group of senior workers and buddies offered our team a pretty in depth briefing about what was recognized as well as what was actually being actually carried out in the authorities and at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was actually incredibly practical and sort of all of them to do in the middle of all the distress. The Russian TsUP has also been supportive and also helpful, attempting to uplink newspaper article when our own properties were actually inoperable, and also saying kind terms ...My crewmates have been actually terrific, also. They know it's been actually a hard day for me and also the people on the ground, and they've tried to be as even keeled as well as handy as achievable. Michael also repaired me my favorite Borscht soup for supper. And also they give me plenty of space to assume when I needed it. They are actually really considerate as well as obviously shocked at whoever will perform this.I know so many individuals in Washington, a lot of individuals that journey to DC and New York City, plenty of that are actually captains, that I really felt sure I would certainly get at least a handful of items of problem over the following handful of days. I acquired the very first one today when I learned that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that struck the Government was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I encountered Chic during plebe summer when we were in the D&B together, and also our team had lots of lessons all together. I can not imagine what he has to of looked at, and also now I hear that he might have risen further than our company can easily also think of by potentially stopping his aircraft from being actually the one to attack the White Property. What a dreadful loss, yet I ensure Chic was battling fearlessly to the end. As well as splits don't flow the very same in space ...It's challenging to explain exactly how it feels to become the only United States fully off the earth each time including this. The emotion that I should exist with each of you, dealing with this, aiding in some way, is actually difficult. I know that our experts perform the limit (or even past) of a horrendous change in the history of the planet. Lots of things are going to never ever be the same again after September 11, 2001. Not only for the thousands and 1000s of people directly influenced through these horrendous process of violence, but probably for everyone. Our team will certainly find our own selves feeling differently regarding dozens of factors, consisting of most likely area exploration, unfortunately.It's horrible to find smoke putting from cuts in your personal nation coming from such an awesome vantage point. The dichotomy of performing a space capsule committed to strengthening daily life on the planet and also seeing life being ruined through such planned, horrible acts is jolting to the psyche, no matter who you are actually. And the knowledge that every thing are going to be actually different than when our team launched by the opportunity we land is actually a little bit of disconcerting. I believe in our country and in our management that our team will perform whatever possible to much better safeguard her and our households, and also to deliver fair treatment for what has been carried out. I have assurance that the great people at NASA will definitely carry out whatever important to continue our mission carefully and also return us carefully at the right time. And also I skip every one of you quite. I can not exist along with you personally, as well as we have a long way to go to finish our goal, yet be specific that my center is along with you, and also recognize you remain in my petitions.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the final character ... Thankfully, it's been actually a hectic week up below. As well as to verify that, like our country, our experts are continuing on our intended pathway with business as usual (as high as achievable). Tonight the current addition to the station, the Russian Docking Compartment will be introduced coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday evening (United States opportunity), it will dock along with us, at a slot never ever used just before on the low point edge of the Solution Element. This brand-new component will certainly provide us an additional location to dock a Progress or even Soyuz as well as will deliver a huge airlock along with pair of useable hatches for performing EVA's in Russian Orlan matches, which our team will definitely perform a few of before our experts get back.The concern prior to in coping with today was too little news. The concern right now is actually way too much. It came at one time when e-mail was actually repaired, and also there's not nearly enough time to review all of it! Plus it's as well hard to cope with all of it immediately. Yet I appreciate acquiring it, and also I really cherish the terrific letters of assistance as well as friendly relationship I am getting.We are actually prospering on board, receiving our work performed, and also talking about things. Final night our company had a lengthy dialogue over supper concerning the value of these occasions, the possible activities to comply with, and also what must be performed. After supper, Michael resolved telling me that every email he acquired coming from friends in Russia mentioned especially to inform me just how sorry they were actually that this happened, stretching their condolences, as well as talking to exactly how I was carrying out. Vladimir instructed me the Russian word for "condolences" after speaking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Celebrity Area. (Both the Russian and the English terms are considerably too lengthy to articulate quickly.) Really types folks.For the last two times, the Russian MCC has been good enough to broadcast real-time broadcasts of broadcast updates concerning the occasion as well as linked accounts, to see to it I was well notified. Every professional who has begun free throw line to review a technique or an issue contends some point expanded greetings to me with kind phrases. Tonight the Russian capcom told us that because of the big day of remembrance in the US, all day people had been bringing blossoms as well as edging all the walls of the United States consulate in Moscow, and also this night they were actually lighting candles in the street outside the consulate. Exactly how the planet has changed.People almost everywhere seem to acknowledge the senselessness as well as terror within this assault. And the significant reduction. Moscow has actually dealt with these kind of troubles in the final few years with apartment and metro battles, so they are actually as troubled to get rid of this risk as our company are actually. However the bottom product line is actually that there are actually really good individuals all over who wish to reside in tranquility. I check out that a youngster talked to, "United States is actually therefore great to various other countries, we always help everybody, exactly how can they hate us a lot?".I hope the example of participation as well as trust fund that this space capsule plus all people in the system illustrate daily are going to one day encourage the remainder of the planet to function the same way. They must!Regrettably, we will not be actually piloting over the US while folks are actually lighting candlesticks. Don't know if our company can see that in any case. Our experts carried out, however, find a really uncommon and also attractive attraction a couple of minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Area on a Soyuz booster. Our team were surpassing it and it appeared concerning three minutes after its launch coming from Baikonur as the sunshine struck our station, so it was still unaware. It appeared like a large comet along with a straight, vast rear silhouetted versus the darker earth beneath. Despite some bad lights for some time as the sunlight struck our window at a low position, I took care of some video clip of it as first our company passed the rocket, and after that enjoyed it begin to catch up as it obtained altitude and velocity. I filmed till principal engine deadline and also booster separation happened equally as our team came close to dawn on the Himalayas. A memorable sight in an extraordinary week ...Life goes on, also in space. We are actually right here to stay ... Frank.